Moving Shop

For various reasons, I'm moving this over to LiveJounal.

You can catch me in the future at The New Laboratory of the Mind

Scumbag Shenanigans

I think there was something in the air last Friday.

First of all, while walking home from work, a good friend came across a thug hammering a young child of twelve or so. I did not get the full details, but my friend mentioned his head being bashed against the wall.

Needless to say, my friend stepped in, and being something of a tough nut, gave the thug a hiding. He got a few digs himself, but he felt vindicated by his actions.

"Of course I stepped in, Mick. That stuff doesn't happen. Not in my world."

Anyway, sometime later I found myself with the Flaming Redhead in a chipper on Thomas Street at around 0100 in the morning. I did not notice it at the time, but the customer at the counter was hammered. Totally unbalanced, he banged into the Flaming Redhead a number of times, but she did not say anything.

The door opened behind me and a scumbag walked in., but he was definitely up for hassle. Within seconds, he was mooching around behind us complaining about the lack of service.

"Am I fooking invisible or something. Jaaaaaysiiiis!!!!"

I am sure most of you have it pictured well in your head.

Anyway, after a short while, Drunk got his food and tried to leave. The scumbag had him hemmed in. I cannot say for sure, but I think he banged into him while waiting at the counter, thus giving Scumbag his chance at entertainment.

The atmosphere got nasty very quick, and Drunk was scared. He continually tried to leave but Scumbag kept obstructing him with petty glee. Eventually, Drunk reached the door, so Scumbag stood in the doorway. Drunk lost patience and pushed him out of the way.

Scumbag had been given the opportunity he was looking for, and went for Drunk, who promptly dropped his bag of food, and legged it. Scumbag grabbed for him in vain, but only managed to get Drunk's jacket, ripped off as Drunk accelerated away.

I ran out after them, thinking Drunk was in for a beating, but he was gone in a flash. Thinking back, I am not entirely sure what I was doing. In fact, it seems likely that I would have got a smack or two also once he turned his attention to me.

Scumbag returned to the chipper, and started on the proprieter, professing his innocence. Of course, it was total nonsense. He appeared to be a local, so the proprieter did not criticise him too much. His problem was that the trouble started inside, where he was liable.

Eventually, Scumbag left, calling a friend. A few minutes later he reappeared with someone else, presumably the phonecall recipient, as we left. As we walked away, I spotted him reaching down and taking the bag of food that Drunk had dropped. I have to admit, I laughed myself silly at that.

Still, it is my sincere wish that some day soon Scumbag receives the almighty hammering he so obviously craves.

A Dilemma

I was planning to write a blog article about a charming and funny scene between a couple I spied from the bus on Tuesday morning, but I am not going to. The moment has passed.

Instead, I feel I should relate an entertaining story about members of my family. Since anonymity is not really an issue, I can use the proper names too.

My parents got married shortly after they returned from England in the mid-1970s. My father is from Drumlish in Co. Longford, my mother was born and raised in Leeds, England, but her family originated in Ballyconnell, Co. Cavan. They were the first to be married in both families, so have proved to be something of a fulcrum for family events down through the years.

Both the Boyles and the Cooneys get on famously. When my parents were building our home, it seems that almost everyone in the family got involved at some point.

One particular story always stands out from that time.

Our house was built close to where my father grew up, and is situated at the end of the lane to my grandparent's house, a five minute walk away. It is situated on the main Drumlish - Balinalee road, but the old road (known locally as the Hill Road because it goes over the hill instead of around) is nearby too.

One day, during work, Uncle Matt (technically my mother's uncle but in our family I only refer to greatuncles and greataunts as Uncle and Aunt, proper uncles and aunts do not get titled) grew restless. Fond of the pub at the best of times, he felt his day's work was done, and he was going on break.

Unfortunately, he was in a predicament. My grandmother, Mary Kate Cooney, a well-known teetotaller, had called in on her way to Drumlish village prior to this and was due to be returning soon. Granny Cooney always had something of a fearsome reputation amongst drinkers, probably because she was that kind of woman. Active and hard-working, she was the type that inspired fear in layabouts without ever having to do anything.

Uncle Matt was in a conundrum. Mary Kate Cooney was due to return soon and she always walked along the main road to Drumlish. The Hill Road also had it's problems. One of our neighbours on that road had a vicious little terrier, and Uncle Matt was terrified of it.

Poor Uncle Matt did not know what to do. Neither option was particularly appealing. Of course, all the others on the site were of no help to him, and found the whole thing hilarious.

Naturally, Matt chose the Hill Road. He figured a vicious dog was preferable to running the risk of meeting my grandmother coming the other way.

To this day, Granny Cooney loves that story. She was scarier than Quinn's dog.

Cadbury's Curly Wurly

I forgot to pick up my usual breakfast of a few pieces of fruit upon leaving the apartment this morning, so I had to call into a shop to buy some.

There was one girl in front of me, and she was asking about "low fat" popcorn. I had always thought that popcorn was low-fat by its nature, but anyway. Having spent a few minutes waiting, a box was opened, a normal bag was removed and it had the magic words on the packet.

Immediately, a discussion on low-fat snacks ensued.

The shopkeeper had noticed that all the girls from the nearby school were coming in and buying Curly Wurlys. For a while, he could not keep them in stock. It did seem strange, why do all girls suddenly like the same chocolate bar? What is wrong with Crunchies, or Kit-Kats, or even Star Bars?

Eventually, curiosity got the better of him. He asked a customer. The answer was brilliantly simple. Of all chocolate bars, only the Curly Wurly is 1 point on Weight Watchers, and all the girls were mindful of the daily allocation. The Curly Wurly was the chocolate treat they allowed themselves.

I think this is brilliant. This is an example of what I mean about girls being crazy, but in a highly attractive way. How can you not love a gender who thinks like that?

ntl

I have been sitting on this rant for a short while now, but I have had enough.

ntl have possibly the worst customer service I have seen in a large company. If I was not so infuriated by their appalling record with me personally, I would probably laugh for a long, long time.

My history with ntl and bad customer service goes back several years. Having gotten digital television into my old residence in Violet Hill, I decided the easiest way to pay was a simple direct debit.

I gave ntl my bank details and forgot about it until I received an overdue notice sometime later.

It seems their system did not recognise the bank Sort Code. ntl informed me it had changed, they had the new one and everything should be fine. I was pretty annoyed at the bank for not telling me they had changed the sort code without informing me, but I got distracted before I could complain. I paid the bill with my credit card and forgot about it.

Until another overdue notice arrived for the very next bill.

It seems the Sort Code was not changed after all, but for some reason it was giving problems with their system. I reiterated the original Sort Code, and asked that they get in touch should any further problems arise, which they agreed to do.

I did not receive any calls, and forgot about it again.

Unsurprisingly, they did not fix it, and I was quite irate to receive yet another overdue notice.

This dance proceeded for a long, long time as each bill covered a two-month period. Eventually I gave up, and decided to just use my credit card each time. It was easier.

What really shocked me about their service was the fact that I was trying to make life easier for them to get money off me. If they were concerned about anything, you would imagine ease-of-payment for the customer would have an extremely high priority. Yet consistently they failed to give me notice of problems, despite repeated assurances to do so.

I can feel my anger rising again as I think of it.

Having moved into my new apartment, I found that ntl were offering a television and broadband deal, so I decided to take a chance. The service was swift, and the technician's arrived to install the modem and the television line.

Alas, my broadband curse struck again, and no line was found. The technicians told me someone would be in touch, and it should be sorted quite quickly.

I was stupid to believe them.

That was four to five weeks ago, and almost all our communication has been at my instigation. What has truly offended me though was the lies they have told me.

Two weeks ago, having waited long enough, I called them. I was informed that a "second-line technician" was required, and I should hear from them over the next few days to get the problem looked at. This morning I was informed I was only added to the queue three days ago. Someone, somewhere is lying.

Right now, I am so angry with the company it is untrue. The only reason I am sticking with them is because their service is better than the others on offer and going with someone else will start the whole waiting process all over again.

That said, I plan to complain strongly will call them again around 1600 this evening (I have no faith that they will fulfil the promise of calling me this evening). I expect to be moved up the queue. As far as I am concerned I am waiting two weeks, not three days. The fact they lied to me has not improved my mood.

In the meantime I am going to see what eircom have on offer. I realise how poor they are, and how bad they are, but I think any connection at all is better than what I have at the moment.

In fact, I think I will rip into whatever poor unfortunate I call tonight anyway, just so I can let them know how poor their customer service is in that company.

I am quite sure it will make no difference apart from the stress relief of having vented on someone.

CineWorld

The UGC Cinema in Dublin has a new name: CineWorld. I love that place. 17 screens, a bar, a HUGE sweetie shop, CineWorld has it all. In fact, it is too good, and can be dangerous (see a previous article).

To help feed my habit, I tried to get one of their Unlimited cards the other day. It is a pretty sweet deal, for €17.50 per month, you can go to as many films as you like. For someone who goes as often as I do, it is good value for money.

Anyway, I go up to the desk, and the friendly and helpful member of staff asks me for my details, informing me he'll need a statement from my bank as proof.

Unfortunately, I did not have one. Also, getting one is going to be a pain, because An Post are on strike at the moment over an industrial dispute.

This is irritating.

However, the member of staff said "If you want, you can print a statement from the web if you have online banking, since those usually also contain your bank details."

That annoyed the hell out of me. Accepting a web printout as verification for ANYTHING is one of the most stupid things I have ever heard. In fact, it makes a joke of their entire system. Forging something like that is almost painfully easy.

Forging a Bank of Ireland statement would not be difficult, but at least it involves effort and know-how. Forging a website is ridiculously simple.

Admittedly, the liability is low, since once the bank details collapse, all they will have lost is a few cinema tickets.

Thus, all this security measure does is inconvenience customers.

Some organisations really do not have a clue.

Freedom

While it did feel very strange for a few days after submission, I have quickly become used to not being a student any more (though I am making the assumption here that I will pass my viva).

It was a few days before I realised that a number of things that were previously verboten were okay again. As an example, I derived an obscene amount of pleasure from visiting Laser Video on George's Street last weekend, despite not actually renting anything.

Also, I raided my cousin's apartment for DVDs and attempted unsuccessfully to get an Unlimited Card for the UGC Cinema (or CineWorld as it is now known). More about that stupidity another time.

Other freedoms were more obvious. I was supposed to do work on Tuesday (my free day from DIT), but decided that staying in my apartment and playing computer games, sleeping late and dossing was a much more productive use of my time.

Surprisingly, my doss time was not nearly as wasteful as I imagined. Putting everything on hold led to the inevitable result that there were a few things to deal with once I re-emerged into the light of civilisation. I ended up being much more productive in the week following my submission than I had hoped to be.

Now I am back lecturing in DIT, and I have no excuse to avoid activities such as "prepare class overheads in advance" or "prepare class assignments". Still, I like using LaTeX for class notes, so once I get into it, it will be fine.